We have talked about near-term and long-term goals this month. What happens when we are getting close to achieving that goal. It was at a weight loss group when I first heard about the idea of fear of success. I remember the leader talking about people who were in the program and just couldn’t lose the last 5 pounds. They couldn’t get to the goal because they were afraid of what that would mean in their life.
When I first started writing “The Main Meal: The New Perspective on Weight Loss,” I truly thought I was writing a how-to book about a different way to lose weight. I thought I would present step by step instructions for how to lose weight by being kind to yourself. What I found through the years, was the book was never about losing weight, but about learning to be kind to myself and feeling like I deserved that kindness. My end goal for the book changed.
Let’s explore timeless goals a little more. When is a timeless goal good, and when is it permission to do nothing? Does an open-ended time frame for weight loss feel overwhelming to you? Do you thrive on having a due date, or rebel against it?
In one of the chapters of my book, “The Main Meal: The New Perspective on Weight Loss,” I explained that I had to learn to get away from setting a goal to lose X number of pounds by a certain date. In order to get away from continually setting myself up for failure, I chose to set no time limits at all for when I would lose weight.
The past few articles have talked about choice from several different aspects. Now I want to talk about forming the habit of choosing joy in everything we do. And I want us to specifically avoid talking about diet and exercise choices at first. Let’s talk about choices we make in our everyday lives that make us happy.
It’s fairly self-evident that there are consequences to each and every choice we make. We are aware that if we choose to change jobs, that would be a big choice, and the resulting changes would be very noticeable.
In addition to expanding our awareness of how many choices are available to us, we want to expand our ability to be less judgmental about the choices we make. Here again, we tend to have a black and white, good or bad, default thinking about the choices we make.
The next several blogs are going to be about choice. Much of my background in learning to make conscious choices came from the book, “Illusions” by Richard Bach. The basic premise is that when we make a thoughtful, conscious choice that we can give a 100% ‘yes’ to, there are no right or wrong choices, no good or bad choices. Each choice we make has consequences and based on our experience of those consequences we may make the same or a different choice the next time, but we always learn and grow.
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