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Monday, 06 July 2020 11:11

Reaching A Goal

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We have talked about near-term and long-term goals this month. What happens when we are getting close to achieving that goal. It was at a weight loss group when I first heard about the idea of fear of success. I remember the leader talking about people who were in the program and just couldn’t lose the last 5 pounds. They couldn’t get to the goal because they were afraid of what that would mean in their life.

One of the biggest reasons we might be afraid to finally achieve a goal, particularly a weight goal, is that we have an idealized picture of how our life will be when we get to that goal. We envision ourselves happy, self-confident, in love, economically secure. We have this idea of how we’ll feel and who we’ll be when we finally lose all our excess weight.

It’s good to have the weight goal, but we can’t work on it to the exclusion of everything else. It’s not fair to ourselves to delay working toward all of our personal goals until we’ve lost weight. It’s not fair to the energy we put into losing weight to make that goal responsible for achieving all our other goals. It’s not the size of our body that will make us happy. It’s not the size of our body that will make us financially comfortable. It’s not the size of our body that attracts love. It’s not the size of our body that finds the perfect place to be of service.

Another question we can ask ourselves is how much energy and attention did we give to reaching a weight goal and how much energy and effort will it require to maintain it? How much energy and attention do we plan to give it going forward and do we think we can sustain that for our whole lives? The key is to find a balance.

We don’t have to make each life goal a marathon or a contest that requires intense amounts of effort our part. The theme of the next few blogs is “Make It Fun” and we’ll talk a lot more about how to take ourselves lightly (pun definitely intended) and how to make it feel less like ‘working’ toward a goal and more like laughing all the way to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Read 75 times Last modified on Saturday, 21 March 2020 16:42
Betty Brink

Betty Brink is an expert on the mental and emotional aspects of dieting and body image. She is the author of "The Main Meal: The New Perspective on Weight Loss." In seminars, speeches, and consultations, she demonstrates practical methods to quiet the diet chatter, and to empower yourself to make conscious choices in diet, in life, and in relationships.

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