When I walk into my annual family reunion, I am greeted with hellos and hugs. I feel welcome and loved. I feel comfortable being there, knowing I am accepted and knowing I will have a good experience. I feel content and eager to participate. This is emotional feedback.
When I go into my room, lie down on the bed, put a pillow under my knees and relax, my body settles into its easy place. My back lets me know it’s happy, my hip feels good, my shoulders relax, and very often I fall asleep just because I’m so comfortable. This is body feedback. It’s my body letting me know I’ve done exactly the thing it wants and needs to feel really, really good.
Right now, I’m going to recommend we separate ourselves from our bodies. The things we identify with, and the names we give ourselves are very powerful. So, when I have a thought like, “I am fat,” I’m taking on the identity of “fat” to the core of my being. By accepting that label and putting in an “I am” statement, I’m making a judgment about my entire self.
Sometimes it’s easier to see ourselves from someone else’s viewpoint. Other people usually recognize our strengths and positive attributes when we can’t see them for ourselves. To help us see our own strengths and perceived shortcomings we only have to look at our reactions to someone else.
Does the thought of “dieting” until you hit your goal, and then maintaining that goal weight FOREVER feel HUGE and overwhelming? We tend to think that if we are working on changing our body size, we will NEVER be able to eat some foods again. I’m here to tell you that’s just not true. During the year I lost 50 pounds, I had pizza - big, greasy, restaurant take-out pizza - nearly once a week, because my husband just wouldn’t live without it and I couldn’t have it in the house and not eat it.
We want to be aware of the judgments we make on a regular basis. Part of reinforcing our positives is taking the judgment not only off ourselves, but off the inanimate objects around us, such as food. There is nothing intrinsically good or bad in food. What we eat is always our choice. And like any other choice we make, there are consequences and responsibilities that come with our choices of food. But to say “I can’t eat cake because it’s a bad food” is wrong on a couple of levels. You certainly can eat cake. It’s always your choice.
Imagine you are sitting on the floor watching an adorable baby trying to pull herself up and stand on her own. When she can’t quite do it and falls back down you look at her and say, “You stupid baby! You’ll never learn to stand up on your own. You don’t want it enough and don’t have the will-power to keep trying!”
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